This has come up a number of times already and believe someone here brought this up as a key attribute. How important is trust for you in wanting to connect with others AND letting people connect with you?
Maxwell p.18 talks about "being authentic". What does "being authentic" look like for you? Since everyone is different how do you know if people are being authentic?
I believe "being authentic" means knowing who you are, "the good, the bad & the ugly." But I don't think being authentic stops just with having a clear vision of yourself. I believe the second component is then actually being yourself in all aspects of daily life/leadership. Nothing bothers me more than when a person in a leadership position acts like a chameleon, and changes his/her views and opinions based on who he/she is working with at that minute.
ReplyDeleteI don't have Pres. Lefton's ability to judge character within the first minute or two of meeting someone. It takes me quite a while before I have a clear understanding of who I believe the person really is. I think it takes time to be able to judge if someone is authentic. For me, judging authenticity in a person results from many interactions with him/her. Does anyone else have Pres. Lefton's ability to judge character quickly? It's a trait I wish I had...it would save me a lot of time. :)
I am also not able to judge character that quickly. At work, I don't know what all people are dealing with, so I try not to judge too quickly. When I think of authenticity and trust, I think of a parenting tip that I received from my daughter's pre-school teacher - she told me "if you tell her you are going to do something, then do it".
ReplyDeleteI would agree with that pre-school teacher. For me, follow-though and follow-up are closely related to authenticity and trust in the workplace. I have to know that if someone says he or she is going to do something, they are going to do it and relay the outcomes.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sarah. The ability to "portray" authenticity or knowing yourself is one thing but the follow through and follow up is another thing. That really comes back to being able to trust that person. This is really important in devloping relationships on all levels.
ReplyDeleteI have come across several people outside KSU that have the charisma, the ease in communication, confidence of knowing who they were but they were still lacking authenticity / being genuine. Something about their demeanor alluded to that they were an untrustworthy character. Looking back, I am trying to pin point what gave me that impression to begin with and how they presented themselves so that I can learn from and/or avoid in presenting myself to others in that manner.
I really related to Maxwell's points on the car dealership sales people as an example. They weren't authentic (for me) and did not follow through let alone the "customer service" he talks about as well. Its interesting how tightly interwoven the authenticity and trust worthiness of a leader is for me after reading this book.
I find Maxwell to be a bit hard to take on the issue of authenticity at this point in the book. I am hoping as I read further, he will prove my discomfort wrong.
ReplyDeleteHe is teaching the "practical skills" of finding common ground, making communication simple, capturing people's interest, inspiring them, and being authentic. For Maxwell, it appears that "being authentic" is a means to an end...If others connect with you, you will be successful. Others must view you as authentic in order for you to connect with them. He dances dangerously on the edge of encouraging authenticity as a perception rather than as a true personal characteristic.
I don't think that it his intention to dance on this ethical line. I just think that authenticity comes from genuinely being interested in other people. But, this is a book about being an effective(read successful) person(read leader).
I like hearing all the different (but related) thoughts on trust. Many commonalities. There is an interesting take on trust from the Reina Institute and their findings said there are 3 components to trust and you have to think of it as a transaction. (1)Contractual trust - do what you say you will do (the preschool teacher example. (2) Communication trust - you must speak with good purpose and (3)Competence trust - involve others appropriately, acknowledge people's skills, let them make decisions. Their premise is you need all 3 for sustainable trust.
ReplyDeleteTina - I see your point on this. I'm a pragmatic guy. Morals are important for sure but is there another reason, other than altruism, that we would want to be authentic? I think it is a means to an end and I don't think that has to be a bad thing either. Aristotle said we communicate first and foremost(he called it rhetoric) to control our environment. If being authentic helps you get your message across in the manner you intended then it is serving it's deep-seeded and distinctly human purpose. That should not be confused with being disingenuous either as they are totally different. It means (to me) that you communicate authentically because it allows you to hear others and be heard, better. That benefits both parties so it isn't devoid of altruistic value either. I love how these things we often take for granted are so simple and yet so complex at the same time.
ReplyDeleteI checked out the Reina Institute's website. Are there any other websites you can suggest? I think it is helpful to have a handful of reliable resources to consult when needed.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
I think my opinion is going to seem pretty simplistic after reading the other comments, but I think trust, integrity and authenticity are something, that while earned to certain degree, are personality traits that develop from early childhood. Not even coming close to being the character judge Dr. Lefton is, I do have a good sense when meeting someone if they are genuine or trying to impress, which in turn, unfortunately sets the tone for the rest of encounter with that person.
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